I don’t know about you, but I am so glad today is warm and sunny! After a cold, rainy week, I am so ready for some days that are genuinely warm. Yesterday I was able to spend a bit of time in the garden, and my son finally had a baseball game that I was able to watch without being wrapped in blankets. It feels like the season is finally turning.
As I have been sitting with our topic this month—navigating the fears and anxieties that can shadow pregnancy and birth—I began considering which questions we needed to bring to the forefront today. It is a tender area because there are so many different things mothers are anxious about. It can feel difficult to pinpoint the most common, or the biggest, or the most debilitating.
So instead, I dug a little deeper into where the root of our anxiety lies and discovered what I will call the Four Fears of Birth.
** The Four Fears of Birth
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Fear #1 – Fear of Losing Control
Control feels safe. It removes uncertainty and doubt. This is the part of your brain that manages daily life, keeping all the balls carefully juggling in the air. It creates the systems and structures that provide you with security. Enter the wildness of birth, and suddenly it is like sitting in the passenger seat while a brand-new teenager is driving for the third time and a deer runs out in front of the car. It is a visceral, gripping panic.
Fear #2 – Fear of The Unknown
This is a massive catch-all, and it belongs to all of us, not just first-time mamas. If you are pregnant for the first time, it is natural to be afraid of what birth will feel like, how long it will take, or if something will go wrong. But even for mamas who have birthed before, the unknown sneaks in. You wonder if this birth will be entirely different, or if your busy mom-brain will refuse to shut off and let your primal labor-brain take over.
You find yourself asking, What if my body fails me? What if I have to have a painful intervention I didn’t want? What if there is something wrong with the baby?
I worked with a mama last year who went into labor right around her toddler’s bedtime, and she experienced a really difficult emotional hurdle just letting someone else put her baby to bed, afraid of the unknown of his reaction.
In its purest form, the unknown is a mystery, a curiosity, and a wonder. But when we are unsupported, the unknown feels terrifying.
Fear #3 – Fear of Pain
We are biologically wired to avoid pain. Pain is designed to move us away from danger and into safety. The problem is, when we are afraid of pain, our resistance actually increases it. In the context of birth, we have been told our entire lives that birth is agonizing.
Because we have likely experienced pain through menstruation or intercourse at some point, our minds amplify those memories and project them onto our upcoming birth. We are deeply aware of how often birth is associated with cold, painful medical procedures, and our bodies brace themselves before the work even begins.
Fear #4 – Fear of Death
In the end, this is the most critical fear of all, yet it is the one we whisper about the least. Birth is a gateway. Instinctively, every mother knows that there is a moment when the veil between life and death becomes thin, nearly non-existent. We seldom talk about it, but underneath the silence is the heavy, unvoiced worry that either the mother or the baby could die during the process.
** Waking Up the Magic
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I want to provide a contrast to these fears, because birth was never designed to be an inherent medical crisis. It was designed to be powerful. To nurture and bring forth a new life is to invite magic into being, allowing the ancient, eternal rhythms of nature to guide your little one from the sacred inner world of water and heartbeats into this tangible world of life.
Somewhere along the way, our culture lost its belief in that design. We started viewing the female body as a broken machine that needs to be managed, rather than a sacred portal designed for power, and yes, even pleasure.
When fear stands in the way of that design, trauma occurs. While we could certainly dive into the scientific friction between your amygdala and prefrontal cortex—how they conspire to stall those sacred labor hormones— but today it feels far more honest to say that fear steals the magic away.
You might be facing these fears and anxieties right now, white-knuckling your way through pregnancy or looking back at a past birth and wondering if your body is fundamentally broken.
I am here to tell you that your body is not broken. You are the one doing the brave, heart-centered work of carrying this new person and stepping toward the threshold of life. But you are not meant to cross it alone, or in the dark. Here is my hand. Let’s walk this path together. I am here to sit with you in the quiet spaces, helping you uncover the immense power and ancient wisdom that already live inside you—softening the fear so you can step into the steady, rooted strength of you, Mother.
While you are preparing your heart and body for this crossing, it can be incredibly helpful to feed your mind a different narrative. If you are looking for resources that reframe birth as a function of pleasure and power rather than trauma, I highly recommend exploring the book Birthing From Within (https://www.amazon.com/Birthing-Within-Extra-Ordinary-Childbirth-Preparation/dp/0965987302) by Pam England, or watching the short 10-minute film from 1979, Birth in the Squatting Position. (https://youtu.be/sUxRbbLWFIM?si=_XINnMgzahxjJrp4) Please note that the film does show close-up, unfiltered images of crowning through the birth of the placenta. Together, they provide a beautiful, necessary counter-narrative to the fear-based models we see every day.
** Taking the First Step Together
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Books and videos are wonderful tools for inspiration, but true integration and healing shouldn’t be another item on your to-do list that causes overwhelm. If you feel like you are struggling to find your place or dissolve the anxiety in your motherhood journey, let’s start with a simple, quiet connection.
I offer a 15-minute Discovery Call (https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=33984276&appointmentType=70964149) —a completely free, no-pressure space dedicated entirely to you. It is a moment for us to pause together and see if our hearts are a good match for your healing journey.
What to expect in our 15 minutes:
* Your Story: I want to hear what you need most right now. Whether it’s about your family life, your daily work, or the message your body is sending you, I am here to listen.
* Connection: I’ll share how the Body Code and my professional expertise can specifically support your unique situation.
* Moving Forward: If it feels like a “yes” in your heart, we’ll talk about the next steps to get you back to feeling like yourself again.
You don’t have to figure out the whole path at once. Today is for taking the first step.
Free Discovery Call (https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=33984276&appointmentType=70964149)
** Expanding the Circle: A Referral Opportunity
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As I move into this first full month of focusing solely on Two Hearts Healing and the mamas I serve, I want to grow our community of support.
I am launching a referral drawing that will run through the end of May.
How it works: If you know a mama who is struggling—whether she is pregnant and anxious, or postpartum and feeling the weight of a difficult birth—refer her to my website for a free 15-minute Discovery Call (http://www.twoheartshealing.info) . When she books her call, ask her to put your name in the “How did you hear about me?” box. For every person you refer who books a call, you will get an entry into a drawing to win a full Rooted In Motherhood (https://twoheartshealing.info/services/) package (a $450 value). I will announce the winner on May 30th.
You can direct them to the main site atwww.twoheartshealing.info, or, if you are speaking with professionals (midwives or doctors) about birth trauma, you can share the specialized portal at www.birth-trauma.info.
** Out and About in the Community
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Healing doesn’t just happen in quiet rooms; it happens when we gather, share our spaces, and show up for one another. May and June are shaping up to be beautiful, full months of connection across our region. Whether you are looking for a safe, comfortable spot to feed your little one, curious to experience a live demonstration of what energy medicine can do, or ready to support vital maternal health initiatives in our rural networks, I would love to see you.
Here is where you can find me over the next few weeks:
* May 16 | Playground Welcoming: I will have the WOMB Nursing Nook (https://www.wombinitiative.org/nursingnook) in North Stratford (https://thecbh.org/event/grand-welcoming-to-the-revitalized-backstreet-river-park/) from 10:30 am – 2 pm
* May 20 | Community Resource & Job Fair: I am bringing the WOMB Nursing Nook to White Mountain Community College in Littleton (https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1279561247485216&set=a.432966358811380) from 1 pm – 5 pm
* May 22 | Resource Fair: Joining the WOMB Nursing Nook (https://www.wombinitiative.org/nursingnook) in Colebrook, 12 pm – 5 pm. More info here (https://www.facebook.com/BrooksColebrookCountryDaySchool/posts/the-from-play-to-possibilities-resource-fair-is-right-around-the-corner-tag-your/1822793895700733/)
* May 26 | Service Showcase: Mini-demos and presentations at A Place Above the Notch (https://www.theplaceabovethenotch.com/) , 2061 Main St, Bethlehem, 5 pm – 6:30 pm. Information (https://www.clearedtoflourish.com/flourishtogether)
* May 30 | Good Grief 5K: Supporting Empty Arms VT (https://www.emptyarmsvermont.org/) for pregnancy and infant loss awareness.Register here (https://runsignup.com/Race/VT/SouthBurlington/EmptyArmsVT5K)
* June 9 | Finding Traction in Mud Season: I will be a featured presenter at the North Country Health Consortium’s virtual symposium,Finding Traction: Innovations in Practice & Whole-Person Wellness. (https://nchcnh.org/events.php) (note the website link still lists the original date, but June 9 is correct). My interactive workshop, The Mother’s Heart: An Integrated Approach to Trauma-Informed Perinatal Wellness, bridges the gap between traditional obstetric care and holistic energy medicine. We will explore how non-medical emotional advocacy serves as a critical pillar of trauma-informed care, and I will lead a live demonstration of bio-energetic muscle testing to show how the body stores and releases emotional blockages. Email [email protected] (mailto:[email protected]?subject=Finding%20Traction%20in%20Mud%20Season&body=) to learn more.
* June 9/10 | NH Gives to WOMB Initiative: I will be monitoring donations throughout the day on the 10th. We welcome your support. Click here to donate (https://mtyc.co/t95tbf) .
https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1279561247485216&set=a.432966358811380
https://www.facebook.com/BrooksColebrookCountryDaySchool/posts/the-from-play-to-possibilities-resource-fair-is-right-around-the-corner-tag-your/1822793895700733/
** Sneak Peek into Next Week
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Next week, we are diving into the feelings of failure and anxiety that can keep us from trusting our inner wisdom. We will explore how harnessing those difficult feelings can actually provide a transformational power in the choices we make for ourselves and our babies.