This week has been April break for my kids. I intentionally preplanned and took the week mostly off from work, keeping only my previously scheduled appointments.
At first, it was hard to slow down the pace. Settling back into a mom-life that revolves entirely around children takes a specific kind of recalibration. The first half of the week, the weather cooperated beautifully—perfect spring sun and warmth.
My original plans included a day trip to Boston to enjoy the Freedom Trail (https://www.thefreedomtrail.org/) and learn the story of the birth of our country. But the day before the trip, I checked in with the kids. Only two still wanted to go. They were starting to feel early symptoms of not feeling well, and no one wanted to spend six hours round-trip in the car. I felt the same. I knew heading into the city would be stressful and demanding. We would be coming back tired and cranky, and spend the rest of the week recovering.
So, I offered local alternatives. They all voted for the Silvio O. Conte wildlife sanctuary (https://www.fws.gov/refuge/silvio-o-conte/visit-us/locations/nulhegan-basin-division) .
My son, Levi, wanted us to experience feeding the birds. I didn’t really know what he was talking about, but once we were there, it was the most magical thing I have ever done with my kids. We had brought a container of seed, and each child took a small handful. They held their little hands flat, extending their arms toward the trees. They walked tenderly, making very little noise, and didn’t say a word.
About halfway down the trail, a chickadee boldly grabbed a sunflower seed. All the children stood perfectly still, waiting. A few more birds came nearby and watched us back. For well over an hour, they walked softly and the birds came and went, eating out of their outstretched hands.
I have never seen my children so in tune with the wild world. Sebby said to me, “I don’t ever want this to end.” My oldest daughter, Christy, who is a vet tech, pointed out, “Animals demand self-regulation—well, except dogs, they don’t care.”
** The Self-Regulation of Birth
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There is a reason I wanted to share that story with you today. Just as the birds required my children to find a deep, quiet stillness to connect, the process of birth demands a similar kind of internal regulation. But in our culture, we are rarely taught how to find that quiet. Instead, we are fed a steady diet of noise and movement.
This month, we are talking about birth trauma. Recently, I met a mama expecting her first child. She commented, “I haven’t done this before, how could I have trauma? I don’t know what to expect.”
She was right in one sense, but when I asked her how she felt about the idea of giving birth, she admitted to feeling anxious about the unknown. She worried about what might go wrong. These feelings are so common—ranging from mild anxiety to overwhelming tokophobia.
If we take a walk through history, we see a dilemma. Women have been having babies successfully since the beginning of time. Yet, the stories left behind are often sad, difficult tales. If birth were actually as traumatic and life-threatening as we are often told, why have humans not become extinct?
** Who Tells the Story?
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I spent eighteen years homeschooling my kids, and one thing I observed is that history is written by winners and survivors. We read about the wars that were won, told by the people who won them. If you dig deeper, you find the stories of those who survived hiding in caves or struggling through slavery or concentration camps. But those who died? Their stories are only told by observers—martyrs, war heroes, and, yes, even mothers.
And the observer always tells the story through their own worldview.
In today’s culture, the observers are often movies and entertainment. There, birth is instantaneous, dramatic, and always an emergency. People rush around in a panic, yelling at the mother, creating an environment of fear. In the news, we hear about the heroic medical interventions that saved lives. Social media algorithms feed our anxious minds with validations of what might go wrong.
Even our own circles—mothers, aunts, and friends—often lead with fearful stories of how difficult and traumatic their experiences were. People have often told me I was “so brave” to have my babies at home. My response was always the same: “I think it takes more bravery to go to the hospital, and I admire your choice to do so.”
We are generations of mothers whose heart-song is tainted with the pulsing drumbeat of fear. This month, we are going to explore how we can rewrite that melody and realign the drums to beat the true rhythms of the mother-heart.
** Expanding the Circle: A Referral Opportunity
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As I move into this first full month of focusing solely on Two Hearts Healing and the mamas I serve, I want to grow our community of support.
I am launching a referral drawing that will run through the end of May.
How it works: If you know a mama who is struggling—whether she is pregnant and anxious, or postpartum and feeling the weight of a difficult birth—refer her to my website for a free 15-minute Discovery Call (http://www.twoheartshealing.info) . When she books her call, ask her to put your name in the “How did you hear about me?” box. For every person you refer who books a call, you will get an entry into a drawing to win a full Rooted In Motherhood (https://twoheartshealing.info/services/) package (a $450 value). I will announce the winner on May 30th.
You can direct them to the main site atwww.twoheartshealing.info, or, if you are speaking with professionals (midwives or doctors) about birth trauma, you can share the specialized portal at www.birth-trauma.info.
** May Calendar
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May is proving to be a full month for Two Hearts Healing. I would love for you to follow along:
* May 2 | Wellness Fair: Visit my table at the Littleton Community Center, (https://littletoncommunitycenter.org/) 10 am – 1 pm. More info here (https://www.clearedtoflourish.com/flourishtogether)
* May 11 | WOMB Open House: Tour the Nursing Nook and meet our team in Littleton, 12 pm – 5 pm. Learn more (https://www.wombinitiative.org/event-details/open-house)
* May 13 | Radio Feature: Catch me on the Mind Body Soul (https://restorativehealththerapies.substack.com/) show at 1 pm on NoCo Community Radio.Listen here (https://nococommunityradio.org/project/mind-body-soul/)
* May 22 | Resource Fair: Joining the WOMB Nursing Nook (https://www.wombinitiative.org/nursingnook) in Colebrook, 12 pm – 5 pm. More info here (https://www.facebook.com/BrooksColebrookCountryDaySchool/posts/the-from-play-to-possibilities-resource-fair-is-right-around-the-corner-tag-your/1822793895700733/)
* May 26 | Service Showcase: Mini-demos and presentations at A Place Above the Notch (https://www.theplaceabovethenotch.com/) , 2061 Main St, Bethlehem, 5 pm – 6:30 pm. Information (https://www.clearedtoflourish.com/flourishtogether)
* May 30 | Good Grief 5K: Supporting Empty Arms VT (https://www.emptyarmsvermont.org/) for pregnancy and infant loss awareness.Register here (https://runsignup.com/Race/VT/SouthBurlington/EmptyArmsVT5K)
https://www.clearedtoflourish.com/flourishtogether
** Free Discovery Call
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Healing shouldn’t be another item on your to-do list that causes overwhelm. If you feel like you are struggling to find your place in the motherhood journey, let’s start with a simple, quiet connection.
I offer a 15-minute Discovery Call (https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=33984276&appointmentType=70964149) —a completely free, no-pressure space dedicated entirely to you. It is a moment for us to pause together and see if our hearts are a good match for your healing journey.
What to expect in our 15 minutes:
* Your Story: I want to hear what you need most right now. Whether it’s about your family life, your daily work, or the message your body is sending you, I am here to listen.
* Connection: I’ll share how the Body Code and my professional expertise can specifically support your unique situation.
* Moving Forward: If it feels like a “yes” in your heart, we’ll talk about the next steps to get you back to feeling like yourself again.
You don’t have to figure out the whole path at once. Today is for taking the first step.
Free Discovery Call (https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=33984276&appointmentType=70964149)
** Sneak Peek into Next Week
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Next week, we move from the cultural mirror to the personal one. We’ll discuss how our own histories—even those that seem unrelated to birth—change how we show up in pregnancy and birth. I’ll be sharing my own personal story of how each of my births changed the way I prepared for the next one.
Until then, I wish you a moment of chickadee-stillness this week.