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Dear *|FNAME|*,
Last Saturday already feels a bit like a lifetime ago. My kids and I were volunteering at the Good Grief 5K Run & Walk (https://www.goodgriefvt.org/) —a beautiful event raising awareness around pregnancy and infant loss—and our slot started at 8:00 AM sharp. Knowing there was no way I wanted to drag the kids out of bed and onto the road by 5:00 AM, we packed up last Friday afternoon and drove three hours across the top of Vermont to spend the night in Sherbrooke (https://www.choicehotels.com/vermont/shelburne/quality-inn-hotels/vt064) .
I had booked us a budget-friendly spot, and I’ll admit I was bracing myself for the worst—we’ve all stayed in those clean-utility, slightly mildew-scented highway motels before!
But what a sweet surprise. From the second we walked in, the front desk host was incredibly warm, the rooms were spotless, and the kids immediately bolted for the indoor pool. The real crown jewel of the stay, though? A touch-free, automatic pancake maker at breakfast with a little glass viewing window. The kids watched those pancakes bake like it was a high-tech magic show. Consider this my unofficial, highly enthusiastic review!
Fun gadgets aside, Mother Nature definitely decided to test our resolve on race morning. Heavy thunderstorms rattled the motel windows all Friday night, and when my alarm went off at 6:45 AM, it was still absolute pouring rain. I nervously checked my phone, praying for a break in the system, because I hadn’t exactly packed the boys for a downpour—they just had basic sneakers and sweatshirts, and the temperature was hovering in the chilly mid-40s.
True to the forecast, right as we pulled up at 8:00 AM, the rain stopped and the sun broke through the clouds. It didn’t bring much heat with it, though, so we kept ourselves moving to stay warm! While Rosie and I set up shop managing the merchandise table, the three boys explored the kids’ activity tent until the whistle blew at 10:00 AM. Levi completely melted my heart by carrying John on his shoulders for the entire 2K walk, while Sebby put his head down and ran almost the full 5K. They crossed their respective finish lines within seconds of each other, completely earning the free ice cream that followed.
Standing by that finish line, looking out at the crowd of over 500 participants, supporters, and volunteers, a profound wave of emotion hit me. It was deeply moving to witness that immense outpouring of local love and support, but it was also a heavy, quiet reminder of just how many families in our communities are walking through the landscape of loss.
https://www.goodgriefvt.org/
** The Dynamic of Two Balancing Forces
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Bearing witness to so many families standing shoulder-to-shoulder, holding space for loss and love together, got me thinking deeply about the protective, grounding anchor of family. It felt like the perfect bridge into the conversation I want to have with you this month.
Over the next few weeks, we are going to talk about dads and birth.
I’m going to just put it out there that I very much value men and women equally, but I stand behind the reality that men and women are different. We are different in physical structure, muscle-to-fat relationship, sexuality, and the ways our brains think and process.
We sell ourselves short when we talk about equality between men and women as “sameness” instead of celebrating how our differences complement each other. In physics, this beautiful dynamic is known as synergy—a law where two distinct elements combine to create an impact far more powerful than either could ever achieve alone.
https://procreatematch.com/single-blog/why-men-and-women-are-confused-in-modern-relationships-the-polarity-flip-of-yin-and-yang-feminine-and-masculine-energy
photo found on Procreate Match (https://procreatematch.com/single-blog/why-men-and-women-are-confused-in-modern-relationships-the-polarity-flip-of-yin-and-yang-feminine-and-masculine-energy)
We are going to take this month and dive into the history of dad presence at birth, share some stories from a dad’s perspective, and discuss the strength in partnership between a mom and dad during birth.
** Reclaiming the Room
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While we traditionally tell stories and recall a human history where dads are not part of labor and birth, anthropologists and global researchers are coming to find that there are cultures where dads play an integral role in the birth process. In these societies, the family unit is fiercely valued, as is the distinct protection and grounding that masculine energy brings to the birthing space.
Of course, we are much more familiar with American culture and history, and that is what currently frames our beliefs around birth as we know it. Throughout the settling of America, families presented in many different ways. Some grouped together and began to create community and culture, while others took the wild road and struck out independently to explore and discover. Birth happened along the way, and sometimes there were women around to help, and other times, dad was the only other adult. Birth was part of life, and as natural as animals—entirely instinctual.
As our culture developed and science and industry exploded, we entered what I will refer to as a trial-and-error phase of the practice of medicine. New and wonderful things were being discovered, but finding the correct application sometimes created more problems than it fixed. By the early 1900s, the idea that women needed doctors and hospitals for birth began to prevail. Between the first and second world wars, the hospital birth rate went from 30% to 70%. Men ruled the medical world, and ironically, fathers were ousted from the birth room.
By the 1960s and 1970s, both women and men fought to reclaim family birth, and men began showing up in birth spaces once again. However, with the prevalence of physicians and hospital births, men often felt out of place. They were given the glorified role and title of a “birth partner” or “birth coach,” rather than being welcomed as the symbiotically balanced union between mother and father, husband and wife. Books were written about how fathers should be and what they should expect their birthing wives to experience, reducing their innate protective role down to a checklist.
Fast forward to today: dads and partners come to birth with a wide variety of feelings, understandings, and expectations. We are going to dive into this more over the next few weeks and open the conversation around learning more about our partners, fathers, and husbands, and how we can strengthen our relationships at the threshold of life.
** Supporting the ones who hold the space
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I want to veer a little off-topic here to share a practice update about an upcoming project very close to my heart. Beginning June 16, I am hosting a virtual, 4-week Peer-to-Peer Learning Series: Birth Trauma Witnessing & Support. (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/trauma-informed-peer-support-series-for-birthworkers-tickets-1990203507265?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true)
This is designed specifically for people who work with birth. If you have a care provider you love—your midwife, OB/GYN, doula, childbirth educator, pelvic floor therapist, or a nurse you know who works in labor and delivery—I would be so grateful if you shared this information with them.
Running on Tuesdays from June 16 through July 7 (11:00 AM – 1:00 PM), this intensive is a supportive space for birthworkers to unpack the heavy layers of their roles. We will be talking about
* the power of presence,
* how to distinguish between what is “normal” versus what is just “common” in birth care,
* the neurobiology of trauma,
* and how to navigate secondary trauma so they don’t burn out.
It’s an integrated approach meant to help them support clients who are white-knuckling through fear, while giving the birthworkers tools to sustain their own heart-work.
They can find all the details, pricing tiers, and registration info right here:Trauma-Informed Peer Support Series for Birthworkers (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/trauma-informed-peer-support-series-for-birthworkers-tickets-1990203507265) .
** Out and About in the Community
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If you are looking for places to connect, learn, or support our birth community in June, here is where you can find me:
* June 9 | Finding Traction in Mud Season: I will be a featured presenter at the North Country Health Consortium’s virtual symposium,Finding Traction: Innovations in Practice & Whole-Person Wellness. (https://nchcnh.org/events.php) My interactive workshop, The Mother’s Heart: An Integrated Approach to Trauma-Informed Perinatal Wellness, bridges the gap between traditional obstetric care and holistic energy medicine. We will explore how non-medical emotional advocacy serves as a critical pillar of trauma-informed care, and I will lead a live demonstration of bio-energetic muscle testing to show how the body stores and releases emotional blockages. Email [email protected] (mailto:[email protected]?subject=Finding%20Traction%20in%20Mud%20Season&body=) to learn more.
* June 9/10 | NH Gives to WOMB Initiative: I will be monitoring donations throughout the day on the 10th. We welcome your support. Click here to donate (https://mtyc.co/t95tbf) .
* June 16 | Peer to Peer Learning Series: Beginning June 16 through July 7, I am offering a Peer to Peer Learning Series: Birth Trauma Witnessing & Support (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/trauma-informed-peer-support-series-for-birthworkers-tickets-1990203507265?aff=oddtdtcreator) . This is a virtual, 4-week intensive designed specifically for perinatal birth workers (doulas, midwives, nurses, OBs, and mental health professionals) who are holding space for clients with fear or trauma around their birthing experiences. Over four Tuesdays from 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM, we will dive deep into the power of presence, neurobiology of trauma, and preventing secondary burnout so you can sustain this heartwork. You can find more details and secure your spot on the website: Two Hearts Healing Upcoming Events. (https://twoheartshealing.info/events/trauma-informed-peer-support-series-for-birthworkers/)
* June 20 | Donuts with Doulas: Hosted by the WOMB Initiative from 10 AM to 12 PM. Come and enjoy donuts, meet local area doulas, and learn more about how a doula supports families. It is a wonderful, lighthearted way to show support for the birthing community and meet other local families. Learn more and RSVP here. (https://www.wombinitiative.org/event-details/doulas-donuts)
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/trauma-informed-peer-support-series-for-birthworkers-tickets-1990203507265?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true
https://northcountryhealthconsortium.my.salesforce-sites.com/es/event/home/mudseasonce2026?utm_source=sfmc&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=June+9+Finding+Traction+CHW+Sendout&utm_term=http%3a%2f%2fnorthcountryhealthconsortium.my.salesforce-sites.com%2fes%2fevent%2fhome%2fmudseasonce2026&utm_id=319357&sfmc_id=170728490
** Taking the First Step Together
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You don’t have to navigate alone. If you feel like you are struggling to find your place or dissolve the anxiety in your motherhood journey, let’s start with a simple, quiet connection.
I offer a 15-minute Discovery Call (https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=33984276&appointmentType=70964149) —a completely free, no-pressure space dedicated entirely to you. It is a moment for us to pause together and see if our hearts are a good match for your healing journey.
What to expect in our 15 minutes:
* Your Story: I want to hear what you need most right now. Whether it’s about your family life, your daily work, or the message your body is sending you, I am here to listen.
* Connection: I’ll share how the Body Code and my professional expertise can specifically support your unique situation.
* Moving Forward: If it feels like a “yes” in your heart, we’ll talk about the next steps to get you back to feeling like yourself again.
You don’t have to figure out the whole path at once. Today is for taking the first step.
Free Discovery Call (https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=33984276&appointmentType=70964149)
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